Today.....

                                                                                                     September 14, 2012

              Sorry it has been a while since my last post, I have been so busy with everything I feel as if my head might explode, hopefully that won't happen though. My lower back is killing me today, it's screaming at me asking; why? why would you do this to me? well back i really don't know why maybe one day my idiot doctor will fix you and we can both move on together. I find myself sadder than usual I wish I could find something that made me OK with how things are right now. I am just moving with the crowd everyday, the same thing everyday never changing, never growing. I'm hoping I can find some fun this weekend even though I have to work all weekend I still have the night to party. I need to liven up my life, It has gotten dull and meaningless. I need to feel alive, I need to feel my heart beating and my blood rushing. I don't want grounded or mute, I want loud and intense, something that will carry on in my head for years to come. I want an event that I will look back on and say " I wish I could go back and live that night again because it was awesome" . But I'm not sure I'll find that this weekend.
            
             I'm finding myself listening to this song over and over on my Pandora; Come Together by The Beatles. I love this song , it has this best beat and smoothness I have ever heard. The Beatles are definitely legend in my book. I've been listening to a lot of oldies recently such as ; The Foreigner, led zeppelin, And Boston. They seem to calm me especially when I am trying to sleep which for myself seems to be getting harder and harder to accomplish. I have so many things in my head from college which is coming up very fast, and trying to keep my grades up so I can get into a good college so my mother will be proud of me, and so I can finally get out of her house. She is on a diet right now and when you take caffeine, carbs, and sweetness away from my mother she becomes the worst person to be around. I swear without those things she goes absolutely nuts, it's like sane mom goes right out the window and super crazy starving mom attacks everyone in the house and eats our faces for dinner, then complains about how many calories it was. If my mother could some how lose weight with out this awful torcher for myself that would be wonderful but I guess the upside is knowing that it won't last forever. WELLLLLL I hope everyone has a good day and hopefully life will turn i warm cheek to me and I will be able to party this weekend.